Posted in Sex & Romance, Uncategorized, writing tips

How not to write…Wedding Thank You Notes

Thank you wedding note

The big day; you wept, you laughed, you ate your own weight in canapes, but this is it, all those months of planning have finally come to an end and you’re left with the love our your life, a banging headache and some serious red bits from your two weeks in the sun.

Thankfully you still have all those lovely presents to unwrap.  The joy of discovering your third gravy boat and the dodgy fertility candle from Aunty Clarissa.

It was reported that Meghan and Harry delayed their honeymoon to help Prince Charles celebrate his 70th birthday, but in reality, they were faced with the daunting task of writing a bucket load of thank you notes.  Just think, 600 guests, including Elton John, George and Amal Clooney and the Beckham’s let alone HRH The Queen. That’s some serious repetitive strain injury for the newlyweds.

But what do you do when too are faced with the mammoth task of writing your thank you’s:

Do:

  • Make it personal and tailored to the recipient.  Keep notes as the gifts arrive (we love a spreadsheet) and try to write the note as soon as you get the gift. 
  • Try to include some notes on how you’re going to use it, look at it, play with it.  A simple, ‘Thank you so much for our soup tureen, George is already planning a gorgeous butternut squash concoction for this year’s Halloween party’. 
  • Write and thank guests if they’ve given you money.  A simple statement of how you’re going to use it, i.e. towards the Honeymoon, scuba lessons or our brand new lawnmower will make it feel more personal, useful and gratefully received. 
  • Include a thank you for attending the wedding, or a so sorry you couldn’t make it. 
  • Remember to write to those who were in the wedding party or gave support and assistance, even if they didn’t give you a gift.  They helped you have a memorable day and start you out on married life. 
  • Get them written.  Etiquette states within two weeks, but anywhere up to three months is fine.  Write a few each night and you’ll be through them in no time.  

Don’t:

  • Tell the gift giver that you’ve exchanged or returned their present.  Yes, you may have swapped your third toaster for a bedside lamp but your guest doesn’t need to know this. 
  • State how much money your guest gave you, just a ‘Thank you for your generous gift’ and plans on how you are going to use the cash will suffice. 
  • Forget to thank your hosts, or anyone who helped pay for the wedding.  This is normally parents, so even if your mum was overbearing and your dad embarrassed you on the dancefloor, be generous, rise above it and thank them for their contributions.  We recommend you wait a few weeks, perhaps after the honeymoon to write these notes as time, space and beautiful romantic sunsets can help ease the tensions of the last few months. 
  • Ramble on.  There really is no need to wax lyrical about how beautiful the ‘unique and interesting’ pottery pig is.  Rule of thumb, if it’s longer than the back of a postcard then think again. A swift, personal thank you sent in a timely manner is better than an A4 page of insincere drivel four months later. 
  • Think this is down to your partner to do.   Take it in turns to write the notes. This is a  joint effort, like your marriage. You both had guests, you both need to do your share.  Forget bad handwriting, poor spelling or a total disinterest. Get on board and get it done.
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Posted in Sex & Romance, Social Events, Uncategorized, writing tips

How Not To Writte… A Wedding RSVP

wedding rsvp

You’ve heard the heavyweight envelope drop through the letterbox. And you’ve seen the expensive-looking and elaborately designed wedding invitation that lurks within, in all its ornate glory. Now it’s time to reply to that invitation and get your RSVP back to the happy couple. (Ed: for the RSVP virgins out there, RSVP stands for ‘Répondez, s’il vous plait’, which is French for ‘please reply’ – we’re SO continental!).

But beware, replying to a wedding invite isn’t an occasion where a hastily typed ‘I’ll be there with bells on!!’ will suffice. As with all things relating to weddings, there’s a protocol to these things. So here’s how to reply without offending the bride, outraging the groom or starting a family argument over the seating plan.

Do:

  • Be timely. More than anything you need to get your response back promptly and absolutely before the date shown on the invite. Yes we know you’re busy too, sitters to arrange all that, but planning a wedding can be like organising a small well-behaved coup – so give the couple a break and respond quickly.
  • Be clear on who’s coming. If you’re bringing a guest, state who. Even if it’s obvious that it’s your new fella Jeff that you’ve been seeing for 3 months, don’t make the organisers guess whether it’s on or off again.
  • Follow any instructions on the RSVP. If they want you to tick a box, tick a box (Ed;  even though we know you’re not the kind that likes to be put in a box, as your cat Schrodinger keeps reminding you). If it says email someone’s mum, go ahead and email Mildred. If it says good old-fashioned post then, yes, you may need to make a trip to the shops to procure some stamps.

Don’t:

  • Put a list of demands of what you need. You’re a guest, it’s nice that you’ve been invited.  If you have certain dietary needs just state them clearly, but don’t insist on organic locally sourced free-range hummus. It’s their wedding, not yours.
  • Try and weasel in extra guests. Be it your children or Great Auntie Betty from the outer Hebrides. The couple have taken a long time planning their numbers and have a budget they need to stick to. If it honestly clashes with something else, then just say so and regretfully decline. The last thing a couple needs in the run-up is you begging to bring extra people along, remember you’re not the only guest who might be in this predicament.
  • Go, if you don’t want to. If you’re really not keen on the couple then don’t attend, just be polite, return your ‘no’ and leave them be. Very few couples will moan that their guest list is smaller.
  • Get uppity, if you’ve clearly been put on a reserve list. Remember, in most instances, that family and close friends come first, then work colleagues, then George the friendly butcher. Don’t be put out – and if you are, don’t say so, just decline. (Ed: And if you’re George, please bring sausages).

If you’re a bride/groom reading this and worrying about how to write the perfect wedding invitation, we’ve got all the dos and don’ts you need here.